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[02 Nov 2005|10:31pm]
I got a car.
I need a new job.
I need two new jobs.
I hate that the world is passing me by.
I feel so lost sometimes.
I love this world so much.
But sometimes I feel like I'm nothing in it.
I love the sun on my face.
I love Led Zeppelin.
I love Bob Marley.
I think I would love James Ryan Drieling if I had the chance.
I think I may love him a little already.
Not a lot, just a little.
That's already too much.
I've never once been jealous.
I've never wanted someone so bad.
I've never felt so starved.
I've never felt so not in control.
Somehow he makes me feel these things.
I need to talk.
I need him to hear me.
I just want the best for everyone.

I'm not giving up on this.
I won't give up on you.


[09 Oct 2005|09:09pm]
Don't look to love for what it's not
just look into each other's eyes.

-some crazy hippie folk song I heard today


[06 Oct 2005|09:14pm]
you do something to me that I can't explain so would I be out of line if I said I miss you?



[27 Sep 2005|11:47am]
My apologies for never updating.
I've been sort of busy.

So here's the low down on my past month via Aaron's computer:

+ was dumped in the most interesting of ways
+ I need to get him back- I don't care what it takes.

+ started school
+ I have to say I was a little overwhelmed at first, but now I'm peachy keen with this.
+ YSU is easy. My Sociology test was impossibly effortless. I got an A.
+ The classes I worried about (mainly Physics) are my best subjects.
+ Farragher is actually letting me do decent works of art.
+ I don't think I'm going to get straight A's in honors precalculus. =(
+ E.B. Al-Dabbas made it his "goal" to get with me by the end of the year. I'm, let's just say, a little less than pleased with this. *BARF*
+ Homecoming is probably going to suck this year. Except Andrew and I are going to dinner with Tim and Ashlee afterward.

+ went to the SYSTEM OF A DOWN & MARS VOLTA CONCERT last night at Tower City
+ THE most amazing show. Ever.
+ It was almost not awkward with Jimmy. Almost.
+ I left everyone at the gate with my heart set on being front row center.
+ I was literally shaking/convulsing after the show.
+ I could possibly be in love with the lead singer of the Mars Volta.
+ He had a fro like no other.
+ His hip gyrations were magnificent.
+ His voice pretty much made me cream my pants. No lies here kids.
+ To finish it off, all 16 of us came back to Aaron's and had a righteous party.
+ I played the best game of beer pong the world has ever SEEN.


[27 Aug 2005|01:11pm]


OH SNAP! (2)

[22 Aug 2005|09:27pm]
Ever have those times when everyday you blow off so many things to be with someone that you miss dearly, and they don't bother to call you until 7:3o at night and act like they never made "maybe I'll see you tomorrow" plans, and simply tell you that they have to get up early the next day but it's impossible to for them get up early because they sleep until two every day and therefore they plan on going to sleep early even though you know that they are at your mutual friend's house instead of being with you & you feel majorly bummed because they are doing this often and you just want to see them as much as you can before you have to deal with high school, college, and your job & when they actually can squeeze you into a two hour slot of their time they call their mother and tell her that they are with "Steve" right in front of you without any concern because even though you are their girlfriend and everyone knows it they sometimes don't seem to be sure that they want one at all but act so differently when your alone but you know they aren't using you just for sex?

Maybe boys just don't realize these things.

Too bad he wasn't using me for sex like all the other boys because then I would at least know what's going on.

I can honestly deal with that.

I have no problems with that.

At least he would really want to see me.


I hate being negative.

I hate being confused even more.

But he's worth it.

OH SNAP! (8)

The years seem short but the days go slowly by... [21 Aug 2005|03:01pm]
So Myrtle Beach was beautiful.
But I hated it.
Well, maybe hate isn't the right word.
But something to that effect.

I am embracing my love for this town.
& everyone in it.
As much as we talk it down, it's a great place to live.
It may not have beautiful beaches,
& it may not be a huge symbol to the world...
But I think the people I've met
& the things I've learned here
& all those silly times
are far beyond compare.

I'm not ashamed of Youngstown, Ohio.
& I'm not ashamed of anything I've done.

I love life.

I'm bummed that I missed Kelly's party.


[11 Aug 2005|07:46am]

I fixed up my myspace last night.
It's rad you should check it out.
I need some new pictures though.
They are crap crap crap.

I leave for Myrtle Beach tomorrow morning.
I'm excited but at the same time I don't want to leave at all.
Its going to majorly suck being away from James for 11 days.
I don't wanna.
But I will spend all my time buying him things and thinking about his birthday.
& getting such a tan that I'll be 1000 times more Brazilian than him.

I have so much to do today.
I've been up since 6:30.
& I'm not allowed to go to sleep until tomorrow.

I can't wait to see SOAD and The Mars Volta in September!!!
We are buying our tickets today.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
I can't wait!

OH SNAP! (5)

[03 Aug 2005|11:26am]
I recall Central Park in FallCollapse )

OH SNAP! (4)

[28 Jul 2005|11:37pm]
Every single West Side cop car was in front of my house this evening.

I watched my neighbor get wrestled to the ground by four cops with shields.

He lit a cigarette instead of raising his hands and kneeling in the street.

Poor Nancy.

He threatened to kill her and the girls.

It took them forever to find the gun.

I'm sorry Kaitlin for not responding, I was on the porch watching this.

It was so weird.

He's such a nice guy.

Well, he seemed like one.

This makes me never want to get married.

I don't need a man with a beer gut and a shotgun beating my face in.

I kind of want to be a cop right now.

Ha. Not really. No.

But speaking of cops...

Linda's other house (Melrose) got busted at the same time as the above.

From what I hear it was only Jon that got arrested.

No one else had anything on them, strangely enough.

Poor guys.

They had just cleaned the whole place maybe an hour before though.

From what I hear it was Tom, Andy, Correy, Milli, Willy, Jon, Mike, Ian, and possibly others.

I need the whole story.

My poor boys.

I'm SO happy Jimmy wasn't there.

He would have had some on him.

And I would have been there.

Sober, but peeing my pants.

Good thing he worked tonight.

Such a good thing.

And we were just talking about this today.

...Life is so ironic, isn't it?


OH SNAP! (4)

[23 Jul 2005|01:23pm]
Don't you just love it when it's an absolutely beautiful day and you are no longer deathly ill?

I do.

I feel glorious.

I hope everyone has a lovely day.

<3 !

OH SNAP! (2)

[15 Jul 2005|05:41pm]
I'm too lazy to use an lj cut.

1)Using your Current Initials, choose a different name for yourself.
Sadie Renee Stone

2)If you were born outside of your era, when would you want to be born and why?
Probably the forties. Like, 1948. I love the glamour and fashion. Everyone was so happy and life seemed so perfect. Plus, I'd be 14 when The Beatles first came overseas.

3)If you ran a store, what would you sell/have?
Sunshine and happiness. Actually that would be awesome but in reality it would be a clothing store with my own fashions.

4)What part in a movie would you love to play?
The same thing every girl longs to be, the beautiful girl who gets the beautiful guy.

5)In your opinion, why do people suck?
They don't. But there are some people that need to realize that life is what you make it.

6)If you had your own state, what would you put on your new quarter?
It depends on the history of the state and it's natural rainbow percentage.

7)Whats the oldest article of clothing you own?
One of my mother's prom dresses or Lee's tie from the same time period.

8) What piece of furniture have you replaced the most?
We stole new dining room chairs from Bob Evans. Pretty sweet.

9)What instrument do you wish you could be more than great at?
Anything really, due to the fact that I can't play anything. Probably violin or piano or guitar. Triple threat, baby.

10) Record, Tape or CD?

11) What do you think would be the best concert ever? (max: 4 bands)
The Beatles, System Of A Down, The Mars Volta, and The Mamas And The Papas!

12) What's the best part of your favorite movie?
I don't know if I have a favorite movie, currently.

13) What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever?
Snickers & 3 Musketeers. I hate those.

14) If you were writing out your will, who would you give your CD collection to?
Well, that would probably be Carissa since she has already staked a claim to them, along with everything else I own.

15) If you could only debate two topics the rest of your life, what would they be?
I dunno.

16) Out of your friends, who would you say you are most jealous of, artistically?
Jimmy, I suppose. He's music's lovechild. He hasn't a lick of drawing ability, though.

17) Most jealous of...intellectually?
I dunno.

18) What do you collect?

19) What is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed?
My CD burner. Damn it. I need so many CDs!!!

20) What do you do when you're home sick?
I've never really gotten home sick. I LOVE to travel, so I can handle it.

21) Why does this survey rock?
Because I rock.

22) Story behind your username?
"Anterospectical" is the opposite of "retrospectical" and therefore it means "looking forward".

23)Current Favorite Article of Clothing?
Ummm... I'm not sure. I love it all. Perhaps my newest white Hollister tank that Amanda STOLE yesterday and got mighty grass stains on. =(

24)Line from the last thing you wrote for someone?
No clue. I haven't been talking to anyone.

25) A famous person you have met?
No one THAT cool.

26)Favorite way to waste time?
Jimmy, music, friends, reading.

27)Last thing you bought yourself?
The newest Mars Volta CD. Wait, nevermind. Actually it was shavers. =)


[08 Jul 2005|10:41pm]
It's a nonstop disco
bet cha didn't know.


[07 Jul 2005|12:35am]
I almost bought a 1985 Chevy Camaro today.

It may have some engine problems though.

And the driver's door doesn't close perfectly.


It was a T top.

Pretty flipping sweet.

I miss Jimmy.

He wasn't supposed to work today.

But he did.

I had to go to work early and do two different positions.

It was poo.

There is a Beatles tribute band playing on campus Saturday.

I want to see them.

With Jimmy.


I went to my SB 140 meeting today.

She told me that my professors won't even know that I'm still in high school.

And I get a student I.D.

Because I AM a college student.

Fo shizzle.

That means I get to go to games, the gym, the pool, etc.

And I can park wherever I damn well please!

I'm excited.

I get to hit on college boys.


But I don't need to.

If perhaps I get to see Jimmy soon.




OH SNAP! (10)

[05 Jul 2005|11:16pm]
Stuff I have recently (and ok, some not-so-recently) noticed about myself:

+ I have developed an obsession with brushing my teeth and will do it as many times a day as I can.
+ I really, really, REALLY love The Beatles.
+ I only drink water and Red Bull. I've become quite addicted actually...
+ I am 100% incapable of sticking to a diet or work out plan.
+ I am a different person to every boy I have somewhat of a relationship with.
+ I don't know how to play pattycake. =(
+ I have become far too lazy.
+ I need to speak up more.
+ I haven't made anything in a very long time.
+ Tom somehow makes me act uptight and I fucking hate it.
+ I need to pay more attention to my Sophomore.
+ I don't need to wear foundation (or any makeup for that matter) anymore and it's glorious because I haven't for several days.
+ I am SUCH a little girl.
+ I've got a major hard on for Brazilian boys that love The White Album and drive Monte Carlos with only three spinners.
+ I will somehow change the world.


"If you create your own reality, nothing is unattainable." [28 Jun 2005|09:39pm]
My mind is swirling with so much going on.

I do believe that I'm incapable of writing in a journal correctly.
I don't know what to say.
Not that anyone reads...
but for my own sake.

I should use this to help sort the large variety of feelings I contain, but I'm not sure how.

Alright. Let's try.

1. I broke up with Tom last night. I feel quite relieved. I thought I really liked him but it turns out that I did not. I guess it happens? For a good while I thought he loved me but I'm not so sure at this moment. He probably just wanted to do me. But then again, who does not? =)
I didn't say much to him... I hope Linda speaks to him and smooths the rough edges before we go to Gettysburgh.

2. I'm mad crazy hardcore crushing on this boy. He is Tom's friend and this fact makes me feel terrible. But whenever I'm around this boy I feel nothing but giddy-ness. I love that feeling. And yes, I was crushing on him while dating Tom but all the while I did nothing about it and it had nothing to do with my decision to break up with him. I feel so silly but this boy makes my tummy jump up and down when we look at each other. Then, being myself, I sit back and wonder if this feeling will end up vanishing like it did with Tom. But I wasn't this crazy about Tom... Oh the confusion.

3. I leave for Gettysburgh Friday morning and I will be there until Monday night. I absolutely positively cannot wait! We're still not sure who is coming though. This equals a thumbs down. I want the aforementioned boy to come. I saw his schedule. He only needs to take Friday off. But Tom is in the same situation (they work together) and I'm sure the chances of Tom switching with someone are higher. I don't mind Tom coming. I enjoy his presence, I just did not want him all over me.
We are staying in an 8 person cabin, and I can only imagine all the hilarious moments that will happen there. Las time we went there was only 5 of us, and it was one of the best times I have ever had. I believe it will be me, Linda, Dave, Aaron, Brett, and Tom. Not sure about the other two. I hope it's Jimmy and Dustin.
This time we will be reinactors (?) and I get to wear seven layers of clothing at all times. This includes a huge hoop skirt and a corset. Sweet. The boys have to wear three layers of wool. Man we are going to be a smelly group with all the sweating that is gonna go on.

4. My mother accidentally bleached a part of my new brown skirt from American Eagle (I got it at The Village for $2!) today and I am so mad!!! Now I have to dye it and ruin the colors of the contrasting waistband. =(

5. I need another job but it will be impossible. I'm too busy with vacations and YSU to work in the mornings and I don't want to work every single night at that damn nursing home.

6. I need a car. I almost bought a Ford Focus. It was a stick though, and my uncle can't work on Fords so I was out of luck. It was only 6,500 with my discount too. I NEED A FLIPPIN CAR LIKE MEOW!

7. I feel that my stomach is reaching incredible lengths away from my body. And I even lost two pounds. I honestly do not usually care too much about this but lately I need to. I'm in bikinis and although I know I look reasonably good in one, I'm becoming very self conscious. My mother is off of work this week and she has been forcing me to eat things other than cantaloupe, grapes, and Red Bull. Damn her. I'm starting to do crunches every day but I doubt my will power will last long. I think the main reason is that I feel inadequate to be with that boy. I know he likes me but being a 16 year old, I feel like I need to perfect myself in order to keep it that way. I have been tanning though. I'm pretty tan. And for the record, tanning beds are sweet. I enjoy my fake 'n' bake. I've also dyed my hair blondish again. Now it's getting slightly longer and it's brown/blonde/caramel. I like it. All I need is a half an inch from my tummy and I'm as good as I'll get for now. Except if my hair was long. I wish it was long already.

I'm starting to get bored with this and slightly hungry so I am off to do more crunches.

OH SNAP! (2)

[28 May 2005|04:18pm]
[ mood | RAD! ]

I have a boyfriend that can fit into my size 1 Hollister jeans.
And his name is Tom.


I also have a nice little certificate from Shawn's driving school.
Better watch out y'all.
Mike (my driving instructor) taught me to cruise around Canfield blasting ICP, 50 CENT, and SALT'N'PEPPA.




[15 May 2005|01:48pm]
Life is grand.
Driving school is flippin rad as hell and I love my teacher.
I am thinking of failing the test just so I can keep going cause I'm sweet like that.
Not really.
I made a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles skirt.
I know you're jealous.
Kelly's prom party was a total blast.
Carissa couldn't stop hitting on Tom and I. Haha.
I missed doing keg stands.
And I missed ROCKY!!!
No clue why, but I simply love that kid.
The red jell-o shots were excellent, Kelly, as was everything else.
Ghetto cosmic bowling with large quantities of old folks is rather interesting.
And keeping Carissa in suspense is amusing as hell.

I haven't been able to wipe this smile off of my face for days.
Writing in random fragmented sentences is fun.

That is all.


don't you dare believe me [30 Apr 2005|08:32pm]
Geez I never update.
I never even come near this computer anymore.
But I have been quite busy.

I am in love love love with my dress!!!
Some girl in Tula's even tried to try it on. The lady had to tell her that I had already bought it and she couldn't even have something similar because that was the only one they ordered. She also goes to Boardman. HA!

I've been pretty much living at Aaron's house every weekend since we went to Gettysburgh and it's wonderful.
(side note: Aaron is my mother's best friend's son, and although she and Linda have known each other for 30+ years, they are polar opposites and Linda lies for me, smokes weed, and hardcore drinks with us all the time.)
I have the coolest new friends in the world and there are SO MANY OF THEM! Oh man, life rocks. We're seriously talking 20 boys and a few girls are over there almost every night of the week. And not one of them is ugly. No lie. =)

What's even more crazy than the shananagans that go on in that house is the fact that I'm allowed to sleep there. This I did last night and I had an awesome time. I drank, wrestled Willy, danced to techno music in the basement with the girls, watched Linda smoke, and heck, I smoked myself.
You read that correctly.
I occasionally smoke trees.
And I drink once again.
I have been corrupted by Tom and all the rest.
Deal with it. =)

I can't begin to explain how fast the days have been rolling by, and how much fun I have been experiencing. And that's not because of the drugs because I still get no effect from them. I'm so excited for prom and for summer and heck, for every day because I finally found people who love life and who make the best of any situation. And oh the stories. Tom and I talk about optimism and life all the time, along with his love for cigarettes. Ha. Then we box each other. Oh on prom night, it's goin down. Tom's 120 pound ass is getting TERMINATED! That's right. Crazy Boardman kids. I love them all.

Brett finally got his license today. Hooray!
Not I just need to get mine.
But I'm starting driving school the 14th Biatches!


SUP. [24 Apr 2005|10:47pm]

Life is good.
I do believe I have gained a buttload of new awesome friends.
I'm so jealous of myself.

& I'm totally going to Boardman's prom!

Whoa yeah!

(or what will soon be)

Flippin spinner shoes bitches!

That actually spin when you walk!

OH SNAP! (3)

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